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 Am I obliged to reply to all men's responses to my profile?
Yes. We feel that it is only good adab (etiquette) that if a man has taken the time to respond to your profile, that you respond to
him whether you are interested in considering him for marriage or not.
Especially if the correspondence is online, one's tendency may be to simply ignore those responses that do not interest.
However, we consider it important that you respond to all of the responses you receive in some fashion.
If you are not interested in him as a prospective husband, a quick note thanking him for his letter/interest and explaining this is only polite. It is best to keep such a note upbeat and not list
all of the reasons why you are not interested. Example: "Thank you for your e-mail/letter, but I do not think we are compatible and do not want to continue corresponding with you for the purposes of marriage. Insha'Allah, you will soon
find the wife you are searching for." If we discover that you routinely do not reply to men's responses we will be forced to remove your profile.
How should I tell a man who has responded to my profile that I am not interested?
If you are not interested in a man who has responded to your profile it is best to reply to him promptly to tell him so. Keep your note short and upbeat.
Example: "Thank you for your e-mail/letter, but I do not think we are compatible and do not want to continue corresponding with you for the purposes of marriage. Insha'Allah, you will soon
find the wife you are searching for."
Especially if the correspondence is online, one's tendency may be to simply ignore those responses that do not interest. However, we consider it important that you respond to all of the responses you receive in some fashion.
If we discover that you routinely do not reply to men's responses we will be forced to remove your profile.
What is the best method to use to communicate with men for marriage?
The answer to this question is subjective. E-mail, telephone,and fax communications are certainly among the fastest methods of connecting, but what you consider the best method is most likely the one
that is able to give you the best sense of the man's character, values and personality and the one that is most convenient for you and for him.
It often makes sense to begin the
communication through postal or e-mail, since a letter is not usually as affected by nervousness, can be done at your leisure, and be filled with more questions and information
than you might comfortably be able to integrate into a phone conversation or online chat.
How will I know whether the man is a match?
This is a difficult question. Ask yourself if all of your important questions about the man have been answered? Do you feel that he will make a good husband? A good father? Are you two compatible?
We recommend that once you are seriously considering someone that you pray (istikharah can be most useful here), think deeply about, and if you have not already done so, that you involve supportive family members, friends and trusted people in your community
in your decision.
What questions should I ask him?
Click here for a list of suggested questions you might ask him.
Should I ask him for money or gifts?
Absolutely not - unless, you have decided to marry and are requesting your mahr (marriage gift).
Asking a man who is communicating with you for the purpose of marriage for money or gifts sends the wrong signals about your intentions and is not a behavior that we tolerate
here at MuslimaMatch.com.
If we learn that you have been asking men for money or gifts we will be forced to remove your profile.
Should I send money or gifts to him?
This decision is up to you. But remember that the reason that you are communicating with the man is for the purpose of marriage.
Since it is not a penpal relationship or love affair, we think that the exchange of money or gifts is unnecessary - and possibly
dangerous, if his intentions turn out to not be good. If you are corresponding with him via postal mail and want to help with
the cost of postage, we suggest that you send stamps or International Reply Coupons (available through your local post office)
that he can exchange for stamps instead of sending cash.
Should I send a return envelope in my letter?
This is up to you. In most cases it will be unnecessary to do so. If you choose to, it may be more convenient to send an International Reply Coupon with your letter.
You should be able to buy the International Reply Coupon at your post office. He can then exchange it at his local post office for stamps. That way, you do not waste time looking for often hard-to-find foreign stamps.
I tried to send a letter to a man via an express carrier (FedEx, UPS, etc.). But the express carrier says that his address is not correct/does not exist. What should I do?
Send another letter, this time, via regular or registered postal mail. Not only is this less costly, but we have found that local postal workers are often more aware of their areas and of hard-to-find locations than the express carriers' staff.
Plus, commercial express carriers and delivery services are notorious for only servicing those areas where they can make the most profit (e.g. centralized business areas and downtown cores. They may refuse to cover or claim to not know about
addresses in (even large, urban, well-known) residential and rural areas. The local postal service will not have such reservations.
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